Names have been changed to protect the privacy of people involved.

Since Elementary, I’ve been picked on. Through grades 1-4 I was bullied by a girl named Macy. I remember that in grade 1, I would come home crying because of her saying I don’t want to attend school anymore, and just a few months before I couldn’t wait for school. Every time I wore dresses with tie ups her and another girl named Beth would pull on the strings, undoing the bow. Every time I tied it back up, they would undo the bow again. Macy and  Beth would also tell me my dresses were ugly and that I was ugly. Throughout the years Macy would started to use the word fugly which is the combination of the “F bomb” and ugly, which she would use that word to describe me.

From grades 1-2 I tried to be friends with the most popular girls named Mandy and Sandra. They were pretty and talented dancers and everybody liked them, and I just wanted to be liked too. When I asked them if I could hang out with them at recess or lunch they would say “I don’t know”. When I would ask them if that’s a yes or a no, they would say “I don’t know”. Every time I asked them a question it was always “I don’t know”.

After Grade 4, it seemed like the bullying stopped and that I would be home free…until grade 8 reached its ugly head around the corner. In grade 8 this girl named Taylor and I were best friends. We both liked this boy named Joey. Taylor and  Joey dated first, after two weeks she broke it off with him. I then told Taylor than I had feelings for Joey and that if she was okay, then I would like to date him. She told me that she was fine and she didn’t want a boyfriend at the moment anyways. A few days later, Joey and I were boyfriend and girlfriend. Taylor started acting weird. I could see that she was jealous and angry, which she had every right to be. When I confronted her about it she said she was fine…but I knew better. I broke up with Joey hoping that I could save Taylor’s and my friendship, but it was too late. Taylor convinced all my friends to hate me, convincing them I’m a man stealer and I was an untrustworthy friend and I would tell everybody all their secrets. For a few days I was friendless.

This one girl in my class was Anne (a girl who I was best friends with in grade 1-3). I was able to become her friend again and join her group of friends. For the rest of the year I was happy in their group; I was accepted. But still, Taylor remained to spread rumors about me, luckily she didn’t personally know my group of friends so she knew she wasn’t able to persuade them.

After a while, I became friends with Taylor again, in hopes that she would stop bullying me and for a while it work, until grade 9. Things were good until November 2010 when our class was making our own community and learning about life with this online game and community just for our class. Anne, Taylor and I were assigned to come up with our communities national dance and I came up with the first dance, but one of the grade 9 teachers said it was to silly (even though our community was all about silliness). So we tried to come up with different dances but we couldn’t find anything that worked. After pulling both of my hamstrings from dance I couldn’t move well. One day I just got fed up with not knowing what to do and I couldn’t dance and I had 5 hours of sleep the night before, I told them that I wasn’t in a good mood that day and I didn’t was to explode on anybody. Still they continued to push me so I sat down and said I’d watch. After a while Taylor told me to get off my butt and do my part in the dance (when I had no idea what the dance was). After dancing for a while, I told them I couldn’t stand it anymore and I needed to rest. Taylor wouldn’t allow me to sit, so I told them I can’t and I needed to take a walk. While walking down the hallway I went to talk to my friend Jordan. I told him that I couldn’t take it anymore, and that I was angry with Taylor for pushing me and I honestly couldn’t work. Later that day Taylor came up to me accusing me of calling her rude names when I talked to Jordan. I told her my conversation with Jordan, and apologize for her thinking I said otherwise. Whether Jordan told Taylor I was annoyed and she assumed I called her rude names or Jordan changed what I said, either way Taylor was convinced that I said something I didn’t.

The next day Taylor glared at me, I brushed it off thinking that she’ll get over what ever shes mad at me about. At locker break, I was talking with friends and I spotted Taylor buzzing around whispering friends ears “Who’s side are you on? Mine or Darcy’s”. I honestly couldn’t believe that Taylor had the maturity level of a 10 year old, although she did pick on me from grades 1-9. Slowly one by one my friends (who proved that their ability to think for themselves and maturity levels are below the ground level) went to join Taylor’s group of “Darcy Haters”. My friends would pretend to be my friends and would use information I told them about my personal life and feelings to give to Taylor for her to use against me. The school was soon involved and didn’t do a thing to help me. I would tell them everything she did to me, what she said to me, what she was doing to my friends, and even her threats to beat me up, and still nothing. 

I had to leave school one day to go home because I couldn’t stand being treated like this. When I returned to school the next day, we were presenting our dance for our community project. When it was my turn to present, Taylor, Anne and I stood up. Taylor was asked by the teacher “Who’s in your group?” she replied “Anne and I”. I sat back down. I thought, well maybe they kicked me out because I wouldn’t know the dance. When Taylor and Anne started dancing, I realized…that’s my dance they stole and are taking credit. My friends Jamie and Alexa soon realized what happened and they invited me into their group and quickly told me what their project was about. I never felt so betrayed, yet accepted at the same time.

The bullying continued even till Christmas break. I invited my friends to a New Years celebration party and none of them could come except for two of my friends who didn’t attend my school. 3 of my friends were spending it together and didn’t bother inviting me along. And my 2 other friends, Anne and Emily, convinced me that they were with their families. Later that night, a friend who was with her dad texted me saying Anne and Emily were at Taylor’s house spending new years with her to get with high school boys and for alcohol. I couldn’t believe what she told me, but I thought “Hey, at least I have more self esteem then Anne and Emily.”

After Christmas break, I told the principal about what happened on the break and before the break too. Somebody must have spotted me come out because soon after Anne and Emily rushed up to me, accusing me of telling the principal about them drinking. I soon realized that they are going to bully me too.

Taylor was gaining power everyday, and still the school did nothing. I was alone, with no friends except for teachers. The school did nothing that was effective. They set boundaries and areas that were ours and that the other couldn’t go, that we cannot invade the other persons conversation, and couldn’t pull people away from the other person conversation. As being a rule follower, I respected the rules and Taylor space, and her private life, but nobody was there to monitor whether she came into my space (which she did) invade my conversations (which she did) and pull people away when I’m talking to them (which she did).

Everyday I wouldn’t stand around chatting to people at locker break and I wouldn’t eat lunch down in the foyer with everybody else. Instead I was ashamed of myself. I would run from class to class avoiding eye contact with everybody. And at lunch I would sit in the art room with my best friend Mr. Web who is honestly the best teacher I ever had. He would always listen to all my problems and troubles I had and knew about everything that happened with Taylor. He still managed to help me out and listen to me every time day after day, even when I came in crying, distressed and needing a friend.

I would spend my lunch hours painting and starving myself because I thought at the time that I wasn’t good enough for food and I should starve because I was too fat (I was a size 5). When Mr. Web asked if I had a lunch, if I was hungry, or if I wanted some of his food, I would reply “No I had a big breakfast or that I wasn’t hungry.  I spent every lunch hour painting. It was my way to escape from my life and enter another world of bright and dark colours, a new scenery that my mind could imagin what life would be like there. And as soon as lunch ended, I was back to my sad and depressing reality.

After no resolution, the school brought in a resource team to help with the problem. They had Taylor and I talk about our feelings and what was wrong, and of coarse nothing they had us do worked. Taylor continued to gossip about me and make faces at me and steel away anybody who talked to me so I would be left alone. The school continued to do nothing, and things got worse. I decided to leave that school and enroll in a different school in February.

When I started my new school I was glad to have known someone. Selina and Bridget were my friends from dance and were excited to know I was coming to their school. The school was so welcoming, and I made friends quickly. Selina and Bridget weren’t exaggerating when they said were a family at the school. Everybody supported me when I was in the Miss Teen Alberta Pageant in February 2011. And I was so happy to have Selina and Haley come to support me during the pageant and share the moment with me when I won Miss Teen West Calgary. With being Miss Teen West Calgary, I was able to be in the Fashion Has No Boarders 2011 fashions show and be exposed to the fashion world and work with amazing photographers.

Soon after gaining real friendships and gaining my confidence back, Taylor couldn’t let go. Maybe she was jealous that I had finally gotten true friends, or maybe my success in the pageant and fashion world, or maybe even when she tried to make me loose, I came on top in the end. Doesn’t matter what the cause was, she was still out to get me.

On March 13th, during my birthday party, Taylor tried to call me twice (thank god for caller ID). On April 30th, Taylor created a fake facebook account using the name “John Hardwood” which she used to trash my facebook page and Miss Teen page to call me rude names and make rude remarks about me. My family and I talked to a bunch of his facebook friends asking who John is and they all said “I don’t know. On facebook it says I went to school with him, so I think I did”. On May 7th, Taylor sent a boy named Bryson to my door to diss me and call me ugly. In the end, it worked against against Taylor. Bryson ended up asking for my number said I was hot and to hang out with him sometime (I didn’t hang out with him or talk to him after that). But I knew it could only be Taylor who could do all of this. 1. She’s the only one who hates me that much to spend so much time and energy wasting her life trying to ruin mine. 2.Shes the only one who knew the Bryson and was friends with people at his school. 3. She knew where I lived.

After all that I’ve gone through, I’ve been able to move on with my life. I still am angry and saddened when I think about what has happened to me and that nobody helped me, but I remember that I am above their childish games. I have real friends now, who care about me and love me. Honestly I’m glad in a way that I had to go through what I happened to me because it’s made me stronger, let me meet the friends I made in my new school, and has helped me learn to treat everybody nicely and how I want to be treated, because everybody has a story.

If you have any bullying troubles and need to talk to someone, don’t hesitate to call the Kids Help Phone 1-800-668-6868 or visit their website www.kidshelpphone.ca